Life

When I was younger, life was simple. I knew what lie in my future. When I turned 18, a boyfriend would magically appear and then I'd get married and have cute little children and so on and so forth. Simple, right? Well, reality hit pretty early on and by the time I actually turned 18, I was very happy not to have a boyfriend. It must made school and life that much simpler. Next I went to college. And once again, I knew how my life was going to go. I would attend college for 4 years, get a degree, and then when I graduated, I would just get married. No problemo. Not that I was going to school to hunt for a husband, I just that thought that that was how the world worked. Senior year finally rolled around and the realiziation hit me that my chances of getting married anytime soon were slim to nonexistent. This still didn't really bother me. I was happy and content being single. However, it did present at least one slight problem. What should I do with my life now?

My roommate cajoled, flattered and, in the end, convinced me that I wanted to teach. I quickly decided that though I wanted to teach, I did not want to teach just anywhere. I made up a list of schools that were either close to my house or really goods schools where I knew students or families living in the area. I ended up only applying to 3 schools and even scored myself an interview with one of them. After the interview, they were so interested in me that they wanted to fly me down to visit them. This was right before graduation and I took it as a sign that I had found my calling. After graduation, I visited them and loved the school and they even liked me. I was offered a job, but it was an offer that I couldn't accept.

So here I am. Living with my parents, working an 8-5 receptionist job, trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life. So much for my childhood ideas of "normal life." Funny how man's plans are so different from God's. As I was reminded just this morning, our silly plans and made-up notions of the "ideal" life mean nothing so long as we abide in the will of God. "For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever" (1 John 2:16-17). O vapor of vapors.

I have come to the conclusion that there is no way for me to know the plan for my life. I am, quite literally, incapable of figuring it all out. God knows my past and my future, but I reside firmly in the present and the present is where I"ll stay no matter what the sci-fi books say. The most exciting thing is that I know that whatever God has planned for my life is way better and more fascinating then anything I could thimk up on my own. The challenge before me is to figure out how God wants to use me right here, right now.

I'd guess I'd better get back to figruing that out...