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Friday, July 18, 2014

Birth Story 2.0

As you well know from facebook, I gave birth.  Again.  It is crazy to think that I would willingly do it all over again but I did.  I've spent the past week mulling over whether or not I wanted to post the birth story.  I decided to go ahead since I enjoy reading other people's stories and also because I wanted something written down that I could go back and read myself in case I ever manage to forget the details.  Note: This is the cleaned up version.  I tried to take out anything that might be TMI.
On Wednesday morning, I was officially 10 days overdue.  My dates were very accurate and my ultrasounds confirmed the due date so I was truly late.  I woke up to discover that I was bleeding but very slightly.  Since it didn't appear to be the type of bleeding that usually occurs before birth, I called my midwife and she asked me to come to the hospital to be checked.  She was actually out of town but her back up doctor was going to be at the hospital that morning making rounds and she would check me.  I called my in-laws and asked them to watch Kira and I called my mom and asked her to drive me.  Since the hospital is an hour away and I didn't know if anything was going on, I didn't want to make the long drive alone.  When I got to the hospital, the bleeding had totally stopped and everything appeared to be normal.  They even gave me an ultrasound and everything looked a-ok with the baby.  The only problem is that he didn't look like he was coming anytime soon.  I was still only about 1 cm dilated and 0% effaced.
Disappointed but glad the baby was safe, I returned home exhausted.  I remember trying not to cry on the way home because I did not want to get induced but the baby did not seem to be coming.  My midwife really wanted me to be induced on Thursday as she was going to be out of town on Friday-through the weekend and her backup was leaving on Friday afternoon.  I did not want to be induced as I wanted a natural birth and my body didn't seem to be ready to go into labor.  My midwife made me an appointment for early Thursday morning and said that we would talk about it there and most likely she would send me over to the hospital right after my appointment to be induced but there was a chance that we might be able to wait til Sunday before starting induction.
After getting home, I laid down and went to sleep.  Upon waking, I noticed that my hips were sore but they had been that way on and off for a few days probably due to all the walking I had been doing to try and start labor.  I talked to my doula on the phone and she encouraged me to try and wait it out and refuse the induction.  I knew I didn't want to be induced but I also didn't want to be pregnant forever and I didn't want a random on-call doctor delivering my baby.
Around 2ish, I started to notice that my hips were hurting only at intervals.  I began to wonder if they were contractions but I wasn't for sure.  I decided to run to the grocery store to pick up a couple of items.  While there, my hips started to hurt a couple more times and they hurt bad enough  that I had to slow down walking and take a couple of deep breaths.  By this time I was fairly convinced that I was in labor.  I texted my mom, doula and midwife to let them know that I was having irregular contractions but that they definitely did not feel like braxton hicks.
When Aaron got home from work, I smiled at him and asked him, "How do you feel about having this baby tonight?"  He made a joking comment back not realizing that I was telling him that I was in labor.  Once I successfully managed to communicate to him that I was actually starting labor, we quickly decided that he needed a nap as there was a good chance we would be up all night.  I started to make dinner.  All the while, my contractions were very irregular.  Sometimes I would have them every 12 minutes or so apart for around an hour but then I would only have 2 the next hour.  I went ahead and made dinner and even ate a large portion as I was hungry and figured it could be awhile before I got to eat again.  After dinner, Aaron took Kira to his parents house while I did the dishes.  Fortunately, his parents were already planning on having her spend the night as I had an early appointment and possible induction the next morning.  While I did the dishes, I talked on the phone to my good friend Katie.  She asked me if I had a Bible verse to meditate on while in labor.  When I told I didn't and couldn't think of any off the top of my head, she suggested that I think on Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."
Aaron returned home and was only having a couple of contractions an hour so we decided to go for a walk to see if that would help.  The walk seemed to work and contractions began to pick up.  I started to focus on my Bible verse.  I would say it very slowly and tell myself that by the time I was done saying it, my contraction would be just about over.  We got home and my labor was picking up but contractions were still 10+ minutes apart.  We went ahead and packed for the hospital, we both took showers and then thought about going to bed but by that time things were starting to get uncomfortable for me.  We read books for a little while and Aaron started to do this wonderful thing called a double hip squeeze every time I had a contraction.  It may sound weird, it may even look weird, but boy does it feel wonderful when you're having painful contraction.  I would highly recommend it.  We started to consider going to the hospital.  Since the hospital is 50 minutes away, it is always a guessing game as to when to leave.  We want to leave early enough that the car ride is excruciating but not too early that labor may fizzle out.  With contractions 6-8 minutes apart but definitely intense, we called the midwife and she encouraged us to come in.  We called the midwife and my mom and headed out around 12.  My mom said that she was going to sleep a little bit longer and then head over as it sounded like it would still be awhile before the baby was actually born.
Once in the car, my contractions started coming every 2-4 minutes but they seemed less intense and I didn't have trouble handling them.  About 1/2 there, we stopped at a gas station so I could use the bathroom and Aaron asked the attendant for a microwave so he could reheat our rice socks that I had been using for pain relief in the car.
At the hospital, I was worried that I was barely in labor since my contractions weren't very intense.  I encouraged Aaron to go ahead and park in the normal parking lot and I intended on walking with him a couple of hundred feet in order to get the contractions going again.  We checked in and got placed in a triage room.  They checked all the normal stuff and my doula and midwife both showed up.  At this point, contractions were really getting going but I was still able to talk and joke with the nurses in between contractions.  I even gave the nurse a loaf of chocolate chip banana bread I had baked for the nurses.  I was checked and told that I was 4cm dilated and 70% effaced which was a major improvement over the morning.  One of the worst parts of labor was getting the needle put in my arm so that I could get some antibiotics.  I knew that they needed to do it and was totally prepared for the pain.  After all, I have given blood multiple times and knew what to expect.  What it actually felt like was getting stabbed with a knife.  The nurse tried twice in one arm with me yelling from the pain both times.  Finally, she decided that the first needle was dull and got a new needle and tried again on the other arm.  Fortunately, it worked and was significantly less painful the third time.
I finally got moved to a room and that is where the real pain started.  I was still doing a fairly good job relaxing during contractions but it was definitely getting super intense and the contractions were super close.  After being in the room for about an hour.  I started to tell them that I couldn't make it and needed drugs especially as I was convinced that I still had hours of labor to go.  My midwife asked to check me again and everybody was surprised that I was already at 7 cm dilated and that it wouldn't be long now.  I started to really lose it at this point.  I was in extreme pain and I started to have trouble communicating what I was feeling or thinking.  About 15 minutes later, I realized that the baby was coming.  I also realized that my mom wasn't there and would be sad if she missed the birth.  I remember shouting in between contractions, "Where is my mom?  She wanted to be here!"  Aaron stepped away and texted my mom, "You'd better hurry.  Lindsey is about to start pushing."  My mom was only a couple of minutes away and stepped it up.  After she got there, the baby was born about 10 minutes later, possibly even less.  With Kira's birth the pushing part was the easiest most relaxing part though it could have been the affect of the drugs.  This time, the pushing part was extremely overwhelming for me.  Nobody realized just how close the baby was to coming out I couldn't communicate how I felt.  I wasn't even sure what was going on with my body.  I started pushing on my hands and knees but it didn't feel right.  At this point, nothing felt right and I was seriously losing it because I remember feeling kind of scared and unsure about what was happening.  I think someone suggested that I get on my side though maybe it was my idea.  And then I could feel the baby and knew that it was coming.  With my first birth, I remember having a contraction and pushing and then being able to rest before starting over.  This time, I felt like I was just having one long contraction and it was so uncomfortable that I just kept pushing.  Almost immediately, he started to come out which caught everyone by surprise.  The midwife caught him and immediately handed him over to Aaron.  The hospital has a great policy which encourages at least an hour of skin-to-skin contact before even weighing or giving the baby a bath.  He felt tiny in my arms and did not appear to be 10lb baby I was convinced he was going to be.  I only tore a little and had to get two stitches.  Baby Will weighed 7 lb 10 oz and was only 19 1/2 in long.  He was born at 3:04 in the morning a mere 2 hours after we arrived at the hospital.  Aaron and I just sat there in amazement that he was already there and we were done!  All in all, it was a significantly less traumatic birth than the first time and I loved having a doula.  Aaron also mastered the hip squeeze which helped to deal with the pain.  We are so thankful that he came on his own and that his birth was so quick.  We wouldn't trade him for the world!

I already feel great and seem to be recovering way quicker than I did with Kira.  

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

A Tote Bag

On a happier note, not having an infant means that I have tons of time to work on various projects.  Last week, I thought I was going to go out of my mind from boredom so I decided to get creative. I knew I wanted to make a present for a friend and immediately thought of a bag since they are super easy and can be used for so many thing.  I did some research on pinterest and found this simple tutorial.   It was fairly easy to use but I did feel as though the author skipped a simple step that can really stress you out if you don't realize it is missing.  If you decide you want to use it, let me know I'll explain to you the missing part.

It is not quite as uneven as it looks.  I promise.

Hard to see, but I did add one largish pocket.

You can't tell from the pictures, but it is quite large.  I'm actually tempted to make one for myself to use as a diaper bag.  The only problem is that I've already purchased a cute one off of Etsy.  I definitely plan on reusing this pattern as Christmas and birthdays roll around.  

Monday, July 7, 2014

41 + Weeks and Still Pregnant

In case your wondering, I'm still very much pregnant.  I'm not even showing any signs of going into labor in the near future.  I go to my prenatal appointments twice a week now just to be told that I haven't changed at all since my last one.  Talk about depressing.
Today, we are supposed to make a decision whether or not I should be induced this week and what day this week.  It is like having a shoulder angel and demon except, unlike the cartoons, it is not easy to tell which opinion is good and which one is evil.  It goes something like this:
A: You shouldn't go past 42 weeks.  We need to induce you.
B: It is best for your body to go in to labor when it is ready.  There is no need to induce you.  You've had all the tests and ultrasounds and they all show that you and the baby are both healthy.
A: I'm going out of town this weekend and if you want me to be there for your induction we need to go ahead and start on Wednesday night.
B: Why not just wait until she gets back in town before even considering inducing?
A:  We can take the pitocin very slowly and possibly even turn it off if you body looks like it will just naturally take over.
B: You should look up all the bad side affects of pitocin.  It can interfere with your ability to bond with your baby and I'd hate that for you.  Plus once you get the pitocin then an epidural is almost inevitable.
C: Look at how many women have been induced and had pitocin and have no trouble whatsoever bonding with their child.

Add to the mix the people who text, call, and message me constantly asking me if I've had the baby yet and why haven't I.  Oh, and don't forget the fact that every time I go out in public the only thing people want to talk about is me and my inability to give birth along with all their advice on how to induce labor.  W
hy yes, I have taken lots of long walks and I have spent time kneeling/squatting in my garden and no I'm still not having contractions.  And no, I'm not dilating or effacing but thanks for asking.  And yes, I am doing my best to stay hydrated.  I'm sure castor oil helped you go into labor but I'm not sure that I'm interested in actually trying some myself.
I've tried crying about it but hasn't seemed to help.  So I'm stuck.  I have a baby that absolutely refuses to even try to come out.  I have people trying to comfort and offer all their advice.  I have people pressuring me that I need to make a decision and soon and I have others telling me to wait.  What will I do?  For now I'm going to try going for another walk, drinking more raspberry leaf tea, praying some more and there will probably be more tears if I happen to catch a glimpse of blob-like self in the mirror.