So why so quiet on the blog front? Ok, so you probably don't actually care but I've been kind of depressed. No, probably not drug-worthy, psychobabbly depressed. Just kinda down. Since graduating college (3 years ago this May) I have made relatively few friends. The list goes something like this: Aaron...Kira...the end. Ok, so maybe not quite so bad but pretty darn close. The last time I had a "real" birthday party in this town was probably when I was about 8 or 9. The main reason I don't have birthday parties is because I literally cannot think of people to invite. I've tried to make friends. I've tried inviting people over, attending other churches services and events and the like. I just don't seem to click with real, live people. I can talk to just about anyone but I can't seem to make real friendships.
Usually, I get so used to being friendless that it doesn't bother me. I don't think about it. Doesn't everybody just stay at home all day and find it mentally stimulating to talk to the people at the grocery store? Eh, probably not but it is what I'm used. However, on occasion, something small with set me if with an "I'm-so-lonely-and-the-world-hates-me" complex. I feel like the kid in high school who doesn't fit in with the cheerleaders, super nerds,or drama peeps and ends up sitting alone in the corner of the cafeteria. At least that is what it looks like in the movies cause I've never actually been to school. Pretty pathetic really. I'm so selfish and whiny. Unfortunately, my complex not only hurts myself but also hurts my family who don't seem to enjoy putting up with a grumpy mama.
So here is my question: When you are lonely or having a bad day, what do you do to cheer yourself up? Favorite songs, Bible verses, bars of chocolate, anyone? Let me know what you do so I can give it a try!
On a happier note, it was almost 70 degrees here today and the sun was shining quite gloriously. I had a hard time coming in from my walk and tomorrow we get to work on the garden!
Eat some chocolate...listen to music to put you in a better mood...if it's a nice day, go outside....eat more chocolate. At least that's my solution.
ReplyDeleteAw, I'm sorry you've been lonely. It is so hard making new friends as an adult, it really is. It took me a full year in Virginia before I clicked with someone. That was before Graham, so when I ended up staying home with him, I had to make even more friends (stay at home mom types) so I wasn't too lonely. I had to put myself out there. One day I called a girl from church who I had never actually met. I knew she was a stay at home mom too, so I just asked if we could hang out. And we did! Was it a lifelong friendship, full of heart to hearts? Not really, but it was a companionship and it was what I needed.
ReplyDeleteTry taking Kira to storytime at the library or to the park and be brave and talk to other moms. Or check out this group I found in (I think) your area: http://www.meetup.com/Owensboromomsclub/ (do you still live in owensboro?). You may not make really deep friendships but having someone else to hang out with and talk to about motherhood is really refreshing and being with other kids is good for Kira to!
When I'm down I listen to Fernando Ortega or David Nevue music, drink coffee, and journal. Or if the weather is good, I take a walk!
Hope things start looking up!
p.s. you are not selfish or pathetic :)
Also good on a down day: do you like Ann Voskamp? I always hit up aholyexperience.com for a spiritual pick me up when I'm down.
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ReplyDeleteHey Lindsey, just wanted to say that I feel the same way a lot of the time. I don't think I've made any new friends since college either. I think making friends post-college is just different - we're not with a bunch of people the same age doing the exact same things. Anyway I don't really have advice except that I alway just have to remind myself to be grateful every day. :)
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